Category: ADHD

Small Changes I’ve Made To Reduce My Anxiety.

Little things that are helping my anxiety not be in control.

I have never been secretive about the fact that I suffer from Anxiety disorder. Nor am I oblivious to the fact that the older I get, and the more life experiences (and traumas) I face, the deeper and heavier the anxiety goes.

I found myself in a position where I was having major anxiety attacks more regularly. Over everything. It’s important to note that the ‘everything’ was also a series of nothing’s. And it got to a point where I had to stop myself and acknowledge that the damage I’m doing to my own health is becoming a problem. It was time I started to try out new things to start to eliminate the anxiety.

So, here are a few practices I’ve started doing which have actually started to produce much less anxiety outbursts (I just have to stick to them now).

The No Vaping Continues

If you read one of my recent posts, you’ll know I am currently in the early stages of eliminating nicotine from my life for good. I know addicts and fellow vapers hate the fact people keep saying it’s a real difference to your mental health when you stop but honestly, for me, it is. Am I still having moments where I pine for some flavoured air because I think it’ll soothe something? Sure. But every day that I don’t cave and go longer without I notice my mind become clearer and clearer. My asthmatic lungs are taking a while to heal, but I can’t magically solve everything at once can I?

I am focusing heavily on self-love.

I know there’ll probably be eye rolls at this. But it is true what they say, you become a magnet for all the energy you give out, if you don’t fall in love with yourself and be happy with who you are then how is anything going to be good enough for you? I am leaving this paragraph brief because I’m still ironing out some stuff and research on this which I will do a separate post in detail on. But what I will say is, self-love is always an ongoing journey. Whether you’re with someone or not. Read books that inspire you to love yourself, it will make a big difference to how you think about things.

Affirmations

Yeah, I know, I’m becoming that guy. I know there is a lot of judgement on manifesting and affirmations. But I have found that having those little talks with myself when I’m feeling a certain way and need to rewire myself to remember who the fuck I am. These have made a big difference. Especially if I start doing them when I feel a little shift in my emotion or like my anxiety is being triggered. It really helps bring you back in.

I am distancing myself from actively messaging

I think I may have touched on this before. But one thing that always made me heavily upset and anxious, was how I am always a person who messages quickly, replies and reassures heavily, but I have never had the same from other people. That’s okay, I’m not taking this opportunity to dig at others. But what I learned is, the only person who is feeling awkward about this is me. I am a people-pleaser. I shouldn’t be, but I am. I have recently decided to put myself first and have hours of screen time locks and on some days, I will remove notifications for a day. Sometimes, I’ll leave my phone at home or work for a day/night. I learned from doing all this that nothing disastrous happened. Breaking myself from the consistent need to be active on my phone has really worked wonders for my brain and made me a lot more relaxed in conversations.

(Obviously, I will still stress that communication is important and you should always express boundaries and meet people halfway if you can).

I’m doing things that are good for my mind and body

I’ve recently booked to have a massage. Which doesn’t sound like much, but I never have those. My body is tense AF and I made a decision that it is probably something my body really needs to have to feel better as a whole. It’s something I’m considering doing as a regular thing to take care of my body. I am also spending more time taking ‘mindful walks’. I don’t have headphones or any distractions, I just take a walk alone and acknowledge what’s present and around me. It does so many wonders for me and it also helps me think about events and situations more clearly when the algorithm isn’t manipulating me. Also, walking is good for your body too 😉

And lastly – I am slowly working on not caring about numbers of likes or attention. This is a work in progress, which I am sure I will blog about at some point .

There you have it. There’s a lil update on personal improvements I’m making. They might not work for everyone, but it’s definitely making a solid difference in my brain wiring. Anxiety doesn’t disappear, but it can be controlled.

Finding myself as a Writer with ADHD.

This year I set myself the goal of really focusing on my writing more and getting myself into a position where my novel draft (or drafts) are done and I am in a position to publish some poetry in 2027 as well as start being in an editing/publishing mindset that year for my novel(s).

Ambitious, right? It especially is when you have ADHD. I thought I’d write a little post (because you know, that’s how I express myself) about the different things I have learned in my writing stages while also tackling my extremely overactive hyper brain!

ADHD is a blessing when it comes to writing, having an overactive mind can be amazing because I am full of ideas every single day. The trick is, to plan it out constructively and not overwhelm myself with too many ideas at once.

How do I do this? Well, instead of giving up on novel 1 and diverting to something different every other day. I started a ‘writing jar’. When I have an idea for a plot or a story, I jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. That way I won’t forget the story idea (because my brain be forgetful) but I’m not losing focus on what I want to currently work on.

There’s a lot of good classes and workshops out there to progress in writing. But they’re not all for me.

One common issue with ADHD, is the impulsiveness we’re pre-wired with. It’s easy to see something advertised and jump on it (much to my bank balances dismay). Trying to get myself into a good position as a writer, means I found myself very easily attracted to any kind of advice book or workshop that involved writing. However, every writer and their writing style is different.

As an example, one thing I have learned for me personally.. all-day online workshops are not for me. It’s nothing against those workshops, it’s a me thing. If I attend a day workshop in person I’m fine. There’s just something about being online watching something for a consecutive number of hours sitting in my flat alone, I find myself too distracted and I can’t engage. I’m not going to beat myself up about it. It’s a learning curve and I now know that sticking to certain workshops that are a maximum of 2.5-3 hours an evening are the one’s I can stick with.

I also found myself diving in to too many various types of writing courses. Truthfully, I am fascinated by a wide variety of genres, I read pretty much anything. I’d love to be able to write novels that are not always exactly the same type of trope or genre. But what I have had to learn is, focus on one at a time. The novel I am working on currently is enough, any other ideas can go into the jar for now.

Also, as cheesy as it sounds.. if something is meant to be, it’ll find me at the right time. I shouldn’t push myself to do more beforehand.

The most difficult thing I find with ADHD and trying to write, is I am hyper-fixated on ideas and plots every day when I am not at my desk or with a notepad in hand. When it comes to the times I want to write it all out, my brain is fried and the motivation seems to have dug its own coffin deep underground. How I try to navigate around this? I have started doing things in ‘small doses’ rather than pushing myself to do large chunks, I’ll give myself small timeframes to just work on something. Whether it is jotting down a poem, working on my novel draft or general writing my feelings in a prose piece, I set small time schedules e.g. 30 minutes a night. Then, if I manage to feel inspired to do longer, fabulous. If I don’t, at least that’s half hour done on something. It’s better than nothing after all.

Little poem I recently wrote 🙂

Now to my next point. And probably most importantly, the biggest struggle with ADHD is a lovely little side condition called RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria). I struggle with this in general day to day life, but with writing it is ten times harder. I might still be working on novel writing, but my blog posts and poetry pieces are shared on social media often. Whether it’s algorithms playing up a bit so people aren’t engaging enough, or people don’t like what I’m sharing (which is allowed, we all have opinions), I overwhelm myself too much with the lack of likes or engagements that my posts get.

I try hard not to, and as part of trying to change my mindset into a more positive one (like my writing, it’s a work in progress), I am trying not to use the number of likes (or lack of) as an indication of who I am as a writer. I need to remember why I am writing and how much I have progressed as a writer in recent times. This should be my mindset, not upset myself over thinking that social media is an indication of what my talents are.

Like with everything I write and do. It is all a learning curve, a work in progress. I’m hoping that this post makes a bit of sense – it is another typical Zoë waffling random rubbish thing so apologies if it’s all just a mess and doesn’t really give any good answers.

Just remember that having ADHD (or any condition that might make you work a bit differently for that matter) isn’t always a curse.

Everyone works in their own ways and own pace, there’s no right or wrong way to proceed.