I want to start off before I dive in, by stating that I am fully aware of the positive effects social media has had on our generation. We get to know more about the people we care about, there’s reuniting with friends and family members, we can track where people are to know they’re safe. Technology has been a great tool for our generation, but of course, there are downsides we need to consider, which is what I am going to write about here.
‘The Social Dilemma’
Back in 2020, a documentary was released on Netflix called the Social Dilemma. At the time of its release, it blew people’s minds and scared people with how intelligent and invasive technology had become. I remember seeing multiple statuses on social media at the time from friends talking about how insanely scary it was and that they were going to put their phone away, delete social media etc. But of course, after a few months it went under the rug and people got more involved in the abyss of social media.
For those of you who have never seen this documentary, I highly recommend you watch it, it will change your view on a lot of things. The documentary focuses on interviews with a lot of the people who were involved in the early stages of Facebook, Instagram, Google, Pinterest etc. along with a mini fictional family movie playing out showing the effects social media has on people today. It shows the inability we have now to just not consistently be on our phones and also touches on how social media has looped us in as a product. We all know this, we are the product.
Nothing you see on your phone is a coincidence, the documentary touches on in fine detail how your phone picks up on everything you spend more time looking at, so it knows when to draw you in with a new advert or post to keep you engaged. It does the same for people you look at, if you are constantly checking up on a person’s profile, it will make sure you’re getting the updates very early on as soon as they post anything, because it knows it will keep you engaged.
It’s gotten more frustrating over the years, the algorithm has gone completely off the mark and all you mainly see is sponsored advertisements. Because let’s face it, if you’re using something for free… it’s not free, you’re being used as some sort of advantage to make money.
It’s important to bear this in mind, don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware of the fact that if I ever want to be a successful writer and have any books published, I will have to depend on social media and advertisements to get anywhere. It is a really unique tool in some ways, and I think it’s difficult to get hold of anyone these days without having to use a social media app to get to them, because everyone is glued to their phones.
I don’t think I’ve ever been at a social gathering or on a date, where the person or people I’m with haven’t frequently checked their phones. It’s made me sit back and reflect a lot on my relationship with my phone and social media and the steps I want to take to not allow myself to be glued to my phone when I need to be more present in the moment. So here’s a few things I’ve learned about my relationship with social media and the changes I’ve made to make it healthier.
Notifications are distracting, turn them off.
This isn’t an easy solution for everyone as it depends on your personal circumstances. For me, I’m not anyone’s emergency contact, there’s nothing from my side that is going to dramatically change someone’s situation if I reply to their message in 5 minutes or 5 hours. My problem was, I got so attached to messages and having to make sure I was up to date in conversation at all times, that I expected other people to do the same and my anxiety would be through the roof if someone was taking an age to reply to me. Turning off notifications allows me to only check in on my app’s when it’s on my terms and I want to check in and see the latest posts or messages. It also gives me that bridge of my conversations with people are sporadic and there’s no anxiety on either side if I or they don’t reply within minutes of a message, because you’re not focused on the dependency of active immediate replies.
Don’t compare, ever.
There are posts about this all the time on social media. A common problem we have made for ourselves is we all post the good stuff, all of our cute moments or massive achievements. We don’t always share the bad stuff, because we know people are going to comment on it negatively. It’s going to happen whether you like it or not, you put yourself out there and people will have opinions. But remembering that not everything you see on social media is real is important. Let’s face it, half the pictures you may see of that person you’re jealous of because they’re always getting attention that you’re not, has probably taken 70 other pictures (and also, are their posts natural or filtered to hell?) we’re going to post the good bits and the cute selfies because we crave that attention. We’re human. But don’t compare yourself to another person who’s probably facing their own battles you know nothing about.
Have set times away from all the ‘noise’.
Keep your phone in another room for a couple of hours, or set it to airplane mode. There is nothing wrong with disengaging for a little while, the right people in your life will understand this. Become more aware of your surroundings, go for walks, have a no-phones rule while you’re out with somebody. Or, set time limits on your phone. All phones have those settings now, so take some time to focus on something that isn’t in your hand.
Social media is a great tool, but don’t let it overpower you.
Positive, Yet Cynical 